Women's Retreat Weekend

I went on my first Women's Retreat this pas weekend with my church. I sang on the worship team and was really looking forward to this get away. I have been so absorbed in what was happening at work, the stress of my jobs, the people that I work with and the gossip that goes along with everything. I just wanted to get away and learn something from God. I went with an open heart and an open mind.
Most of you know that I've had really bad issues with a coworker. I was bitter, resentful and I hated it. I just wanted it over, for someone to make it all go away. I even tried to quit my job! I was frustrated at my director and felt like no one was listening.

This is my testimony of how God transformed me this weekend.

In the first small group session this morning, Lord your called my name ,to listen. I hear Kelly Clough's name in my head and am immediately overwhelmed. I say a quick prayer for this woman, someone I barely know. Someone I've hardly talked to someone that I'm afraid to talk to because she's Chris, my Worship Team leaders wife. It was twice Lord, that her name was in my head I teared up both times. I knew You wanted me to talk to her.
"Okay, God, Sure, I will. When I get a chance. If we happen to be alone or something. She looks preoccupied and I'm afraid."

In our first session, You talk to be about prioritizing. Making You number one. Putting you first in my life. I wrote: Teach me to prioritize You at home, work, etc. What will I be doing when I prioritize You? Will it be prayer? Will it be confession or forgiveness? Will it be Your Holy Spirit speaking to me? Open my ears"
In our second session, You spoke to me about attitude towards You and my faith in You.
In John 11:1-46, these are the attitudes from :
Disciples: sarcastic, Thomas" Sure Jesus...! We can all go back to where we came from. We almost got killed...but whatever you say! Yeeha!
Mary: Confident faith without embarrassment in from of non-believers.
Martha: Jesus says to her, don't be afraid of believing He can work miracles in her life. Don't react to Him out of fear. Be confident in Him.

My prayer was to change my attitude towards Jesus being in my life. To be open, willing and confident and hopeful that He will use me for His Glory, that He has a bigger plan for me. To believe and not to be fearful about how God's going to use me in this world.

As much as my heart believed that, I was still scared and I didn't want to! But He gave me this personality to reach out to His children, I prayed that He would give me courage and confidence and peace and a true understanding that I am doing this for His Glory.

And I did! After out next small group session I said, ", Kelly, I love you and you've been on my heart. I don't know what I'm suppose to say to you. I feel that you have a heavy heart and I'm just here to talk."

She told me that she was having issues with forgiveness with a friend. and THAT triggered my memory of Ashley, my old roommate in college. She was a Christian, yet I felt completely betrayed by her. I felt she was putting me down because she had more faith than I did ( I was just getting back on track with the Lord)

I felt that God was calling me out to forgive Ashley. To forgive with out resentment, bitterness. After all, Christ forgave us!

Kelly and I prayed together. I asked God to teach me how to forgive just like Christ forgave us.
As I was walking back to my cabin, the Lord put on my heart ANOTHER person to forgive.
This someone was my old boss. I had asked God to help me forgive my boss a couple of weeks ago. Someone who I also felt betrayed by. A very unsavory character. I was and still am hesitant to forgive.

How do you forgive someone who caused so much pain? Someone who treated me so poorly? I still have to be around him and still have yet to forgive him.


Lord, I forgive Ashley. I will not feel resentment or hurt towards her. Help me to see her as my sister in Christ.

Lord, Continue to teach me about forgiveness and forgiving Ric, position my attitude and my actions to glorify You every moment at work. Amen

Thank you for using me Lord, to teach me and to forgive me for my unwillingness to be used. I love and you and am blessed that You have make my faith stronger.
Praise Your Holy Name!!

I hope that touched you heart as much as I was touched. If you want to talk about anything I wrote about, let me know! I'm open to anything!